if u could see me..now.

So what are you planning to do this weekend...Monday is a day away..don't even think about it..

I thought of refurbished my tiny garden in my balcony, it is totally a mess because all the plants dried out and smashed by the frozen snow. I already saw some green leaves about to grow.. I better clean up the rubbish so by the time spring is here, they grow in orderly...as I wrote this post..my thoughts are away....

I have been reading some books that I borrowed from the library these days. I just finished reading one of Cecilia Ahern (yes I'm her big fan) titled " If you could see me now". As usual, words and characters from her books couldn't be shake from my head for days, those sentences would lingered and haunted me until I wrote down in my journey books just for the sake of not losing them. Like this one here, makes me wonder..has anyone have ever felt like this before ?

"In situations that were totally unrelated to her, I would think of her and she would become part of the scenario, I would suddenly wonder what she would think, how would she feel, what would she do or say if she was with me. That was all part of giving someone a piece of your heart; they ended up taking a whole chunk of your mind and reserving it all for themselves."

She wrote it very clearly how a broken hearted must sound..in silence. It just stunned me of how true it is..

"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shattters, a table leg breaks, or a picture falls off the wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it’s completely silent. You would think as it’s so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it’s silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

If there is a noise, it’s internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loudly your ears ring and your head aches. It trashes around in your chest like a great white caught in the sea, it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That’s what it looks like and that’s what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped, great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that’s the thing about love; no one is untouchable.It’s as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it’s silent, you’re just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

But....she saw the heartbreak in me and I saw it in her, and without having to talk abour it we both knew. It was time to stop walking with our heads in clouds and instead, keep our feet on the harder soil of ground level we should always have been rooted to."

Yep, those words have been haunted me for days...can't seem to escape.. 

hope u have a great weekend !!